Hey people,
Hope all of your lives are well. Hope your healthy and life is
all you wish it to be. Before starting on my subject I will speak of
some other things. I watched the Superbowl and wasn't really routing for
a team but I know that the Saints won and my APUSH teacher wasn't so
happy about that. LOL. I get to miss 1st block tomorrow because I have
to go pick up my reading glasses. This is awesome because I have been
getting headaches lately because I have to literally try to read. These
headaches are like right behind my eyes. OUCH!!! I am watching Ghost
Whisperer. Pretty good show. Wait...that is beside the point.
Valentine's Day is coming up on Sunday. Hate it!!!! It is just a way to make lonely people (such as myself) more lonely so they spend money on things like therapy and online dating sites. It is also a way to make people spend money on useless things like chocolate and big teddy bears on each other just to say that they love each other. Do you really need a holiday for that??? Now don't get me wrong ...I love getting those things but why does it need to be on a holiday the jist of the time?? So pretty much...Valentines Day is just a money working system. Its is fucking retarded. I am sorry if you do Valentines Day....I am just voicing my opinion.
Ok, so now on to the subject of tonight's post. I don't know what to do or even what I want anymore. I like him PERIOD. The question is...that after everything I have been through with him.....Do I still want to be with him? I couldn't tell you at this point to save my life. My best friend/sister Brittany told me today "Don't be a retard Tiff, you know you want to be with him." Here is a thing though. I used to think about being with him and it would be like a goal that i wanted to accomplish so bad that all I did was smile and now I think about it and it just seems like....NOTHING. I know for a fact that I am physically attracted to him but maybe that is all it is. For instance....what happened today.
Brittany and me went to her locker during first period and while we were there Chris went to his locker. So Brit and me went over to talk to him. Chris and me started to head back to class because his class is like literally right across from mine. So I turned around and saw Brit way behind and I told her to catch up and instead she left. I wasn't going to argue because me and Chris had some things to talk about. We were going down the stairwell almost to the bottom and he said something so i turned around and he was like right there. I wasn't expecting it so i bumped into him. I apologized and began to head for the stairwell door when he said "Tiff". I turned around he said come here. I am not stupid. I knew he wanted to kiss me. I was fine with this. So me and him kissed for awhile. Then i went to class.
I don't know what it is but i woke up yesterday and all of a sudden i felt....well.....ALIVE!!! I am now ready to go have fun and needed be....fall in love with someone. I once accidentally said that I loved Chris. I don't think that I love Christopher...as more then a friend. I don't know anymore. Do I want to have fun or do I want a boyfriend. I just don't know. What I do know is that I was so happy in that little amount of time with him. I want to always feel that happy, The only problem is that I don't know if I was that happy or him or over the making out process. I will figure this out eventually. I swear I will...and when I do....You will know. Now the question is......will you or I know first??? I should get some sleep. So goodnight.
Peace Out,
Tiffany
